Grand-dad meets #4

Grandad (my dad) is over visiting for the first time in nine years, which means he hasn't seen #4 since he was a babe in arms. In a hopeful tone of voice as #4 charged into the distance I said, "He's all boy."

"Yes," replied grandad, "but faster."

See photo for evidence.

#4's still at it....

Early in the morning I hear the mulcher start up and fly from my bed to the garden, knowing it can only be #4. He's got through the defences in the garage and extracted the mulcher and its power cord. (Hints for other #4 mothers, always keep power cords away from power tools, it slows them down, it doesn't stop them but it slows them down.)

So,I get outside in my dressing gown at 6am to find #4 mulching pumpkins (squash). He doesn't like pumpkin and he's noticed how well the pumpkin patch is doing, a problem he has now solved.

Technology and the idiot (me)

Long break from blogging due to something I did to my computer that even the spotty youths at the computer shop were baffled by, as in "you did what?...and it what? so about the whisky stains....."

Any road up I just got Skype. I love it to bits! It's so easy to use. I double click on a name and there they are, a video call. Of course I have to phone by land line first to make a "date."

I was so excited when I got it that I wanted to use it straight away, but first to work out what time it is on the other side of the world. I had to wake Homer up to ask him what time it would be in England....after much cursing he told me and I realised my sister would be at work. I called her work number and got her answer phone, so I left a message and hung up.

Slightly miffed at not playing with my new toy I got on with other things. Half an hour later I heard "Bing bong...Your call has been terminated".

Apparently I hadn't hung up, just recorded my daily activities for my sister. She informs me that she cannot delete the "message" but will have to listen to it in its entirety. I'm left wondering what I did in that twenty minutes that might be embarrassing if she overhears it.....

Spring has sprung....

At last the rain is here and from desert wasteland the back garden has turned green. Last week we were certain that the grass would never grow again, even though experience tells us otherwise. This week the children are already complaining that I have asked them to mow the grass, twice.

In celebration a picture of the first lemon blossom and a lovely blue (my favourite colur) flower called yesterday, today, tomorrow. The flowers turn from blue to lilac to white and go forever.

Even the avocado and pomegranate have come back to life, although the banana hasn't survived the drought. (Sorry M, who gave it to me). M brought me a banana plant to work wrapped in bin liners. She's vertically challenged and did look rather like she was bringing a body in to work over her shoulder. Customers kept eyeing up the package in the corner, warily. That's what happens if you cheese us off I felt like saying.

Sometimes you have to ask a different way...

Part of my job is to find out what drugs people were on before admission, including the social ones,

Me: Do you drink alcohol?

P: No

I'm looking at this guy and thinking, "You look like you might to me."

Me: Are you sure?

P: Yes

Me: So no beer or spirits or wine

P: No

Me: Not even at Christmas or at parties?

P: Oh, you mean besides since I was admitted?

Me: Yes

P: Oh well I have the occasional drink

Me: ?

P: A slab (For the non-Aussies that's about 36 cans.)

Me: A slab? How long does that last?

P: ?

Me: How often do you buy a slab?

P: Lunch-time and on the way home from work.

Me: Every day?

P: (Short pause.) Sometimes I get an extra one at the week-end for the missus.

Tips for sage smudging the house...

1.The cat likes sage smoke and chases it but I think one of the chickens may be asthmatic. Have you ever heard a wheezy chicken, its peculiar.

2.Small children help with this, but will try to set things on fire with the smudge stick if not watched carefully, so negating the whole purpose of the process.

3. Do the inside of the house way before the stick gets going properly if you want to avoid explaining to the fire brigade what brought about this false alarm.

4. Check for neighbours...I mean what would you think if you saw a portly middle-aged woman wandering around her garden muttering to herself, followed by a cat that looks like it's having fits and a child that seems to be trying to set fire to the bushes?

The Bambi Years..

My sister has bought into Peppa pig in a big way. (No I don't know either, but I think its some sort of children's mass hypnosis experiment like Bob the Builder, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or the Teletubbies). About to leave a sarcastic comment on her blog I stopped when I recalled the BAMBI YEARS.

#2 had a thing for Bambi. Morning, noon and night Bambi, Bambi, Bambi. I could talk along with Bambi. And note all you youngsters out there, this was vid-ee-o, a thing that was popular before DVD's. Vid-ee-o, which meant the whole family had to watch Bambi as there was no such thing as a personal Video player, or playing videos on games machines or the family computer.

I really appreciated Nigella's "little joke" about Rudolph pie .

At least it sounds like peppa pig has attitude, unlike Bambi. I used Shrek for #3 and #4 until I discovered that #3 would rather watch Stargate, and #4 likes camouflage and taking things apart. I wonder if I can get a camouflage toothbrush for him?