Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Woo Hoo

Grumpy has finally lost the Troll!!!!

Woo hooo, she apparently went out without him to a party last week end, then did the same again this weekend, and now he's brought all his stuff home.

Woo hoo!

I have to vewwwy vewwy careful not to show my ecstatic joy at this development and have had to go and laugh in a pillow on several occasions.

He of course, having caused all sorts of mayhem and lost two jobs because of her, is completely unbothered. When Dopey informed him that her mate fancied him he was off around the corner to see her quick smart.

Teenagers aye!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Joe Cocker update

The concert was even more exciting than I thought. Apparently some bird did a striptease to leave your hat on ( steady though...the average age of the audience was the same as Joe's) and there was a fight in what I suppose at any other gig would have been the mosh pit.

Apparently some guy in the front row objected to someone dancing in front of him and spoiling his view. He kicked the person concerned in the back of the knee and caught him by his ears on the way down, chucking him sideways out of the way. Very efficient fighting, never even got out of his seat...I told you it was an older audience.

I of course missed all this, too busy singing along and foot tapping.

Sideshow Bob

Dopey has a new boyfriend. A definite step up from the last one, this one can string a sentence together and appears to have realised it's a good idea to laugh at my jokes, even the ones that aren't funny.

He does however bear a remarkable resemblance to Sideshow Bob, from the Simpsons.He's tall and skinny and has a mass of curly hair at right angles to his head. He could effectively hide behind a palm tree. Being as the last one was Barney I can see where she's picking them from. That's a warning to any mother who thought plonking the kids in front of the telly for half an hour to make food was a good idea. Also bear in mind on that front that she prefers not to be known as Dopey (can't think why?) but has the nick name Bambi.

As I recall bambi was a deer I could well have killed myself by the time I'd seen the tape 563 times (and counting).

The troll is still hunting my eldest. She went away for a day last week, but it didn't last. The road was flooded, the bridges were out ( including the one she lives under) and still she made it back, not hail nor storm nor.....ah well. Apparently she wants an apology from me. Grumpy says I shouted at her.I find this hard to believe as I haven't spoken to her or allowed her in the house for four months. Last time she came while I was out I sage smudged the whole house afterwards, to get rid of evil spirits. Mind , thinking about it that was the day she went to Townsville. Maybe I should sage smudge her?

Thinking of her troll like little face asking me for an apology is good for a laugh however. All my friends think it's hilarious, Grumpy didn't know why I was laughing and Homer wisely kept his mouth shut.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Joe Cocker

I went to see Joe Cocker in concert last night.

Wow, excellent, super, ace....anything else you care to throw in.

He was obviously not very interested in being on stage at first, we're a small place and his warm up act had more or less sucked the life out of the audience. A first she was good, kinda a Janice Joplin voice, but she reached a climax and we got over it wayyyyy before she did.

Anyhoo Joe comes on, and checks with his drummer where he is, "hello"...mumbles to drummer..."cairns"...he then throws in a few unfamiliar songs and the audience starts shifting a bit. Then he chucks in love lift us up " for valentines day" ( Not very convincingly it has to be said) but now we're getting with him.

Joe tells us its good to be back...audience looks at each other...has he been here before...not sure...but damn sure he wouldn't remember if he had, We all think he was thrown out of Australia last time he was here? Joe comments he has been to Australia often ,and we believe him, but we're not sure he believes him. Quick poll of audience around me found four people who had not seen him in Brisbane because he was drunk and one who had not seen him in Perth because he was high, oh and a retired customs officer who thinks he may once have deported him.

Joe is now clean and sober but boy he has not lost the magic. Afer a slow start we got all the old favorites icluding with a little help, delta lady, candle in the window....oh tons of stuff. He was on over an hour and a half and came back for two encores. By the end he was looking a little , well, stuffed, but we were getting all the old screams and air guitar. We even had leaping in the air. He was quite getting into it. We definitely were.I think the second encore took him by surprise. It definitey took the band by surprise, some of them didn't come back on.

At the end he said he liked Cairns,( without being reminded where he was) and would be back...and I think we had converted him. We're a good crowd, we don't get out much. Lots of dancing in the aisles and cheering, and I think when its an encouraging shout between songs that not heckling, aye? No big bands up here so we definitely make a night of it.

Joe's kit nearly didn't make it through the floods, and when he saw the stage ( ok, a couple of pieces of plywood on some beer crates) he must have been surprised , after all the last time he saw a stage like that was probably in a Sheffield working mens club. But hey Joe its called back to basics touring....until Melbourne anyway.