Now we all know that we shouldn't say bad words in front of the children , a lesson I learned the hard way when I braked hard in the car and a small voice piped up from the back seat..."PRATT". Of course,at this point you mustn't correct the child about the naughtiness of the said word, or it gets worked into every conversation. For example,
"Just blow into this tube madam."
"Oh that was the two year old in the back."
"Pratt, pratt, pratt, pratt..."
"I see madam, just blow into the tube."
I wanted to say it isn't my fault that on the day you pulled me over for a random breath test my child had just learned the joys of a new way of irritating its mother, I want to say it but can't. After all, who did the child learn that word from? I have instead had to learn new words to describe other car drivers.
Of course that early lesson didn't stick and all my children have repeated things I'd rather they hadn't.
"Mummy, mummy, the interfering old bat from over the road is at the front door!" (Called loudly through the house with front door open.)
"Mummy, mummy, didn't you say you'd boil your head before she came in our house again?"
"Mummy, mummy, what does a warthog look like, does it really look like Aunty Jean? Mummy, mummy, does it?"
And of course there is #4's unnatural talent for burping tunes. I have to grudgingly admit that I can name the tune fairly often, although I'd never admit it to him. Especially not since he burped along to his rival classes song in school assembly, cracking up the back three rows and a couple of teachers, before being hauled out to his seat outside the headmasters's office.
Things I have Said To My Husband Today
3 years ago