The fossilised blogger....

I am officially ancient. My oldest child is eighteen, I can't believe it. That means I was about twelve when I had him!!!!

I have done a quick mental retrospective on his life and have decided that time flies when you're raising monsters. I remember him being born, I set a new foul language record for the hospital, which wouldn't have been so bad except I worked there at the time. People kept coming to visit me and asking if some of what I'd said was true, unfortunately most of it was.

I remember him being tested for Downs syndrome as he has single palmar crease, and having an operation at only eight weeks of age. I remember looking for the "666" on his head at three in the morning. I remember his first day at school (I cried) and his last ( I cried, he was expelled). I remember the first time I caught him drinking, and his first serious girlfriend ( AKA the Troll).

I realise that he's grown up and he's still a baby. He answers me back and sulks like any teenager, but I can still make him twitch nervously with one look, and he'll never be able to lie to me.

I can't believe my baby is eighteen.