Grumpy comes to town

Today my 16 ( nearly 17) yr old son otherwise known as Grumpy came on visit. Here's a bit of back story on that. He got thrown out of school in July and ended up on a program for the unemployable. You know the ones, the kids who look a bit psychotic, who turn up for a job interview in shorts and a dirty t-shirt. ( I was so proud ..not! ) . Out of the course he scored the worst girlfriend in the history of the universe, otherwise known as the Troll, and an actual job. I was shocked , which was bad of me, but pleased. Then it turns out he's earning more than me. C'est la vie.

Next surprise he loses the job. The troll has been lurking outside his work and he's been nipping out to see her all the time.I could have slapped him, if I could have caught him. He set of running about the time I got the phone call and all I saw when I looked round was dust. I also found out that all his wages had gone and all he had to show for it was a nipple ring for the Troll and a Prince Albert on himself. Yes I know he's only 16. Too afraid to come home he went to stay at a mates with the Troll. About this time I'd had about enough of the Troll anyway as she seem to have a pathological aversion to the truth , and she kept stealing from us, so she was banned from the house. They then got thrown out from the mates house because of, yes you guessed it, the Troll. They went living with her father. The Troll kept his cell phone in her bag, and deleted messages from the home phone so I couldn't talk to him. I think if I'd spotted her in the street I could probably come up with a laser death stare!

I needed to go into hospital and couldn't get hold of him so I called the Troll's dad at work. Oh my, now I know what the picture of spineless looks like in the dictionary. While I was on the phone explaining that if I didn't talk to my son soon I'd report him kidnapped he's bemoaning the fact that the Troll has emptied his bank account and racked up credit card bills on his card on the internet. What can I do he's saying. I thought "Well grow a spine" but said " How about changing the password and not telling her the new one". He actually said he didn't know if he could do that!!! Then he comments on how much Grumpy eats. ( Here he has a point my son seems to consume about double his body weight in food every day, common in teenagers I've heard.) My response.."Well send him home"....his response " The Troll wouldn't like that". He doesn't actually call her the Troll, she's his daughter after all.

Anyway the hospital visit brought a slight reconciliation and Grumpy has decided to restart school next year and do two years in one, which I'm very pleased about. Down side the Troll has decided to do this with him as apparently they're joined at the hip... or maybe at the piercings I don't know. When he visits it usually involves a phone call every 15 minutes to his mobile asking where he is and when he'll be back.

So anyway we got the state visit today and he helped Happy (9) and Psycho the little known 8th dwarf (7) put up the Christmas tree. He could only do this in short bursts as he also had to play on the X-box and empty the fridge and larder.

It was very funny watching him try and put up the fairy lights though. I had to go in and rescue him three times. I know I put them away tidy last year, but you know how it is. I think there was actually a tear in his eye when he found his tree ornament he made in Grade 1, so maybe I will be able to rescue him from the evil Troll and return to us , who can tell.