Saturday, July 5, 2008

Smiley Saturday...small man still at it.

Smiley Saturday is here again. Child #4's enquiring mind has been at it again this week. Homer's car battery was going flat so he went to have it replaced, taking the small children with him as it's the school holidays.

The poor man doing the work had never been subjected to the Hobbit inquisition before. It's like Chinese water torture, only more relentless. Questions that aren't answered are repeated until an answer is obtained. Questions that are not answered fully are followed up on, if the answer seems to be avoiding the point then more probing missiles are launched to pierce holes in arguments. Poor logic or contradictory information is mercilessly jumped on.

As an example, " Do you work here?"..."Yes". "Do you get paid?", "How much". " No, exactly how much and how often?" ( Homer intervened here and explained that the boss was doing the work so he didn't get paid, he just paid everyone else.) " Who does he pay?" ..."the people that work here" ..."So does he have any money left each week". "Just enough to give the tax man his money and buy petrol for his car."

"What are you doing now?"... " How much do you spend on petrol a week?"..." No, exactly what size spanner are you using and why are you taking that bolt off first?"... "What happens if you take the other one off first?"... "Will you die if you do it wrong?"... ( Always at the forefront of #4's mind in view of his activities.)... " How many of these do you do a day?"... " How much do you charge?"... " So that means you get $xxxx a day, how much do you pay the men who work here?" Another question headed off by the father of the hobbit.

The questioning went on for the full length of the battery replacement. Number 4 employs the wrong foot technique of questioning, he asks questions along several different threads simultaneously, returning to subjects you thought you had covered and got away with later in the conversation.

The battery replacement was probably the quickest and most stressful job the poor man had had to do that week. He commented at the end of his ordeal that the Gestapo couldn't get information out of him now, and we should hire out #4 for training SAS recruits in interrogation, how to do it and how to withstand it.

" Is he always like this?"

" Yes"

" How come he's still alive?, No wonder you look stressed out."

Children were loaded back into the car and they left. Imagine the man's horror to see them return five minutes later. " Oh no! I mean is there something wrong?"

" Um, no, I thought I was watching him, but you might want these back." Sheepishly Homer returned two spark plug spanners and a hammer.

"How did he get those? He was stood next to me watching all the time, how did he.." Homer said the look of confusion on the poor man's face was nearly worth the embarrassment. He couldn't really blame Homer for #4 having liberated the tools as he had never seen #4 leave his side or pick them up either. " I was worried for a moment that he had follow up questions" Nervous laughter.

And he's not even started on "Where do babies come from?" ...yet.

You Were a Lynx

You are a great knower and keeper of secrets.

A bit psychic, you can bring out hidden truths.


Anonymous said...


That is hilarious!

I love the mechanics worry about being asked more questions. :)

Thank you for bringing a smile to my face this Saturday.

Journeyer said...

Classic! Just what you need to keep those mechanics honest :-)