Monday, September 15, 2008

Still not smoking, but scaring passers-by ....

I'm still not smoking, other people are being very brave and not telling me that they wish I'd start again. They are bravely avoiding disagreeing with me in any way, and hiding the knives, and strangely enough the spoons. I wonder what I threatened to do with a spoon that brought that on?

I found my self following a stranger around the supermarket today, one who smokes. I know they smoke, I can smell it and the smell of cigarette smoke is not yet disgusting to me. It was purely chance that I was behind her, because as you know you have to follow a prescribed pattern once you enter the supermarket. You have to walk the aisles in a set order at a set speed or create chaos.

I was perhaps following her a little too closely, and inhaling a little too deeply, however. She was becoming quite twitchy about me. In retrospect, and looking back on the incident with, as it were, hindsight, I can see that maybe having a strange, plump, middle aged woman edging ever closer to you in the cheese aisle, deeply inhaling as she approaches, may have been, just for an instant, at least, a little disturbing for her, maybe, from her point of view, ah hem.

Well, at least if the police had been called they would have known me!

Oh I had to attend the police station today about something, and who should I bump into but the MBEB (Murdering B***d ex boyfriend) of #2 doing his daily bail sign in. I manfully avoided eye contact but tackled the policeman after he had gone on the subject of why wasn't he yet in jail FOR LIFE for trying to kill my daughter. "BY THE WAY "I added," I JUST GAVE UP SMOKING, MAYBE I CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM." I think I may have thrown a comment towards his mother regarding faulty genetics as well. (That's the MBEB's mother not the policeman's.)

Apparently we have to wait for the whole shooting match to go thorough the court system again now that he isn't threatening to kill himself as well as her. They are unsure with what to charge him....I have a few suggestions, after all he tried to kill my child three times in one day, and escaped from the mental ward to try twice more. Before I could enumerate my views too clearly, along with the punishments I was willing to provide a nice man came and gave me a cup of tea, but not a cigarette.


Berthddu Suit said...

I could do serious damage with a spoon, especially to murdering ex-boyfriends, smoking or not! ;)

kath said...

Hi, I saw you came to visit us, so I came to visit you.
Good for you! Horrible how our health (or lack) catches up with us! I struggle with smoking and not smoking. My sister quit, with the help of Wellbutrin many years ago. Me, I smoke and then I don't smoke. I really need to not ever smoke again.

A World Away said...

May the Force be With you...came by way of the BB. Gidday Matey. Aussie livin in Canada, yeah smoking stinks, you gotta give up. Polices... Mrs McGregor calls em when Peter comes to visit. cheers

slh35661 said...

Glad to hear you are being successful so far on the quitting business. One day at a time. I was scared for you to hear that you had a heartattack or two. Yikes! Woman...we want to read your blog (love it by the way...gotta have my fix) and you have to stay healthy!
My daughter had a ex-boyfriend who was crazy, but I think your story beats hers by a mile or three. Crazy boyfriends are such a nuisence to get rid of. It would be alot easier to just send in a woman who is trying to quit smoking in to do the job the rest of us are too chicken to do which is to strangle these boys who are not very nice to our girl children.
It would be helpful for all involved. It would give the woman who is trying to quit smoking something to do to occupy her mind as she decides which "spoon" to use to attack, and this would take her mind off the next cig for awhile. The parents of and the girl involved would be appreciative of someone coming in for the rescue. And the police would be happy, as they wouldn't have to keep arresting the punk boy. The boy...I guess he would not be too happy, but what the hey he will get to deal with the woman who is trying to quit smoking. It would be his karma come to pass. Too bad for him!

Eve said...

SLH , I have passed your suggestion on to the police and they are getting me a battle spoon collection ready :)