Saturday, September 13, 2008

Self improvement becomes more important..

I have been a bit patchy in my blog recently. The reason will become clear. Apparently I have a hard a heart attack (or two) without noticing. I went to the doctor with a shoulder pain that has been bugging me on and off for a while. While I was there they decided to do an ecg, for completeness. It was all very casual and friendly and then all of a sudden doors were shut and whispering behind curtains was happening. OOh I thought...

Serious face from nurse and doctor....."Just how often have you had this pain". After a short discussion I find I have had a heart attack, or two, and just didn't bother to tell anyone. So they took about two armfuls of blood and gave me a list.

I wish I could express surprise at this turn of events but when you've used a body as hard as I've used this one you really have to expect consequences.

1. Stop smoking.....well I'm on day four and if you need anyone assassinating I'll do it for a cigarette, actually I'll kill three people of your choice for a quick drag.
2. Stop with the caffeine...So no nicotine and no caffeine, I have now been asleep for three days.
2. Get less stress......anyone want a child? Numbers 1-4 are up for a good home. I will also have to get a new life, any-one got a spare one, stress free, up for grabs. I also got a yoga book from the library. The yoga won't relax me but imagining that I could ever get into some of those positions will be funny and that will be relaxing.
3. Stop eating pork dripping sandwiches....not a big loss, but the whole get my lunch ready in the morning thing is already a bit wearing, and eat breakfast. I already have a good diet, its just that I was enjoying the bad diet I was eating in addition to it.
4. Exercise...pah....I'll wait until I see the specialist and hope he tells me I can start smoking and start eating pork dripping again, I know it's not likely, but I have to have some hope of something.
One of the receptionists in the doctors has had a similar experience and just joined a gym. They did the flexibilty test and asked her to touch her toes whilst sitting down. Her response.." My toes, but I haven't seen them for three years, how could I possibly touch them?" (I can smugly say I could touch my toes from that position, but getting back out of the position proved a greater challenge.)
5. Start drinking....MMM....I honestly can't remember the last time I had alcohol and I'm told a few glasses of red wine here and there will be good for me.

Family reactions so far:

1. Husband: If he ignores it it will go away. A standard reaction but unfortunately not one available to me, but he has given up smoking in support.
2. Child #1: Stopped smoking in the house and now takes a torch to the bottom of the garden to sneak the occasional one. I can smell the next door neighbour smoking but not him. (There is of course the stress of wondering if a snake will get him in the dark.)
3. Child #2: Left home to live with boyfriend if can't smoke here.
4. Child #3 and 4: Too young to be told. Husband trying to deal with #4, and quitting smoking, which leads to loud shouting. This too shall pass.


storyteller said...

Wow … talk about a WAKE UP CALL! I wish you well in the changes you’ll be undertaking for the sake of your health.
Hugs and blessings,

Journeyer said...

Bugger! Don't you hate how these things creep up and bite you. Good luck with the lifestyle changes. It's not easy, but at least you've got red wine.

Your post reminded me of the first time I saw an oncologist. I'd just found out that the leukaemia I have wouldn't be the end of me in two or so years like I thought. He sits on the corner of the bed, puts on serious face and says "but it does mean your life expectancy...(dramatic pause)...will probably be reduced". Along with the obvious relief, I can remember wondering how many times he'd practiced that dramatic pause. It was quite theatrical.

Eve said...

I keep getting those little commentaries in my mind too. Then I have to say "Sorry, what was that?" They'll be testing me for alzheimers next.